speedwag:

remember when tumblr thought u could have infinite chocolate if u cut it at the right angle



burgrs:

1 time in my english class there was a fly going around the room and it was annoying everyone and it came over to my desk and i caught it with my hand and like 15 ppl started clapping but i couldn’t get up to throw it in the trash because i had a boner 



clestroying:

When ya fingerin your pregnant girl and her baby grab ur fingers



1200reasons:

sluttyoliveoil:

where would we be if we obeyed the rule “ask your parents before going online”

So SO uneducated about penises



quickweaves:

Being southern is really funny cause were inherently fake as hell “bless your heart” is THE shadiest sentence in the entire lexicon of americanized english  



me nd my cougar gf
  • me: babe i love your necklace
  • gf: thats me Life Alert®


sleepy-running:

I came out to attack people and I’m honestly having such a good time right now

(Source: sleep-ran)




spuandi:

IM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD I AM SO SORRY FOR PUTTING THIS ON YOUR DASH BUT I AM IN TEARS

THIS IS BASICALLY THE WHOLE DAMN MOVIE




tmpgis-headcanons:

wow orange is the new black is intense this season



ryanvallejo:

korralight:

image

okay so coral blue number 5 semi gloss lipstick

image

exists

i want it and i don’t even wear lipstick

(Source: korrashair)



  • Customer: Ummm could you get your manager?
  • Me: No, but you can get these hands.



(Source: -teesa-)



bestpal:

IM SCREMAING


David: The final design for Freddy was based on a pepperoni pizza. I was at a restaurant one night, and I was having pizza and I was just kind of deep in thought. I started playing around with the cheese, putting it around the pepperoni, and actually made Freddy’s face on the pizza.

David Miller on what inspired his makeup for Robert Englund in A Nightmare on Elm Street, 1984

(Source: filmchrist)