remember when tumblr thought u could have infinite chocolate if u cut it at the right angle
1 time in my english class there was a fly going around the room and it was annoying everyone and it came over to my desk and i caught it with my hand and like 15 ppl started clapping but i couldn’t get up to throw it in the trash because i had a boner
When ya fingerin your pregnant girl and her baby grab ur fingers
where would we be if we obeyed the rule “ask your parents before going online”
So SO uneducated about penises
Being southern is really funny cause were inherently fake as hell “bless your heart” is THE shadiest sentence in the entire lexicon of americanized english
- me: babe i love your necklace
- gf: thats me Life Alert®
I came out to attack people and I’m honestly having such a good time right now
IM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD I AM SO SORRY FOR PUTTING THIS ON YOUR DASH BUT I AM IN TEARS
THIS IS BASICALLY THE WHOLE DAMN MOVIE
wow orange is the new black is intense this season
okay so coral blue number 5 semi gloss lipstick
i want it and i don’t even wear lipstick
- Customer: Ummm could you get your manager?
- Me: No, but you can get these hands.
David: The final design for Freddy was based on a pepperoni pizza. I was at a restaurant one night, and I was having pizza and I was just kind of deep in thought. I started playing around with the cheese, putting it around the pepperoni, and actually made Freddy’s face on the pizza.
David Miller on what inspired his makeup for Robert Englund in A Nightmare on Elm Street, 1984